At ease

You know all those lame sayings your mom your grandmother totally random old people who start talking to you as you're walking down the street always say to you? Phrases like "the more things change, the more the stay the same?", "a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush", "good fences make good neighbors", and "The way the clock ticks at home, it doesn't tick anywhere else"? OK, so that last one is actually not something a random American elderly lady would say to you, as it's Dutch. Or Dunglish, to be more specific. But you all get my drift, you know, "there's no place like home" or "you can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you can't stick a spatula up your butt and jump over an electronic fence". Sorry. That last one was also not something an elderly lady would randomly tell you. Unless she's secretly a teenager suffering from Asperger's and a wicked sense of humor.

Anyway.
Sayings like that, ones that are annoying because they are true.
Well, today I was able to disprove two of them. Yes, two. First, there's "the more things change, the more they stay the same". As you all know, I've been working on an NIH-funded project, and a result have only had to teach two classes this semester. It's been a wonderful experience. But in spite of that, today still looked like this:

8:30-9:15am-Faculty meeting
9:15--9:45am Student appointment to retake midterm
9:45-1pm - Classes
1-2pm Presentation run through with students attending undergrad conference
2-3pm Committee meeting
4-5pm Taping interview

And that's not including a 7:45-8:30 class prep, three five minute meetings with students regarding their need to re-prioritize their lives in lieu of their recent midterm grade, five IRB proposals to evaluate, a long phone call to plan a lunch meeting, a brief meeting with the chair regarding an upcoming conference, and two treks across campus to get to the various meetings and back.

It sounds a lot like my life before the grant. And it was. But it wasn't. It could not have been more different. Not only because several of the meetings included people asking me for my opinion or advice, but also because I was happier than I ever remember being at work. Busier too, but definitely happier. When I was walking across campus to yet another meeting, stopped for the third time by a student who had a quick question, waved to a faculty member who called out a "hi" across the quad, and realized it had taken me ten minutes to traverse maybe half a mile because of all the people I knew who wanted to call out a greeting or exchange a few ideas, I knew why. It was because I, for the first time in a long, lone time, felt at home. I was surrounded by people I knew and who knew me, people who appreciated me, and for whom I would gladly drive three plus hours every day. Faculty members who wanted to collaborate, share a coffee, and who asked me for advice. Students who, even though they complained and griped the whole way, never ceased to come back and visit me after graduation. Students whom I would gladly describe as royal pains in the behind, but who were, above all, MY royal pains in the behind, and whom I would gladly encourage, cajole, pester, push, and call out until the moment they walked across the stage at graduation.

I'm almost afraid to say, lest I jinx it, but for the first time in a long time, I felt at home. No, we still haven't found a church home, or friends who mean as much to us as the ones who left, or whom we left behind. I still don't like living in a subdivision, and I also still don't understand why this town does not have a proper book store, an independent movie theater, or a downtown. But this afternoon, on that sun-filled quad, with half a day full of meetings and students and faculty, it all suddenly came together. This place is home. It may not be like any home I've ever known or will know. It may be the most unlikely home I have ever had. But I like it.