Battle fatigue, obesity, and customer service

I know I've talked about sleep, or lack thereof on this blog before, but lately, the whole lack-of-sleep thing is becoming less of a red badge of courage and more like an albatross around my neck. I mean, we're at the point where I'm wondering if  plastic surgery to remove wrinkles that were clearly caused by sleep deprivation which is clearly the result of an insane work schedule counts as a tax deduction, and if coffee can be taken intravenously. On the upside, I have also finally found the cure for adult obesity and terrible customer service.

For those readers just joining me, allow me to elaborate ever so briefly (all other readers, feel free to let your mind wander for a few sentences). As you have probably surmised, husband-dear and the Air Force have a close, working relationship.  And in spite of its many flaws, the Air Force is very efficient in some things, such as changing TDYs at the last moment, canceling one's orders, and making sure everyone gets to work as quickly as possible. Because our current base is so large, the Air Force, in all its wisdom, has staggered the times at which different units start their work days. As a result, husband-dear is expected to be at work no later than 6am. Yes, people, that would be six in the morning. So to make sure we actually see each other at night before going to bed at yet another ungodly hour, I have adjusted my schedule to his.

So I get up at 5 in the morning.
Every morning.

And as of this semester, my body has apparently decided it's really done with that, thankyouverymuch. It doesn't even matter what time I go to bed anymore, my body has had enough with the getting up early thing. 

So the past few weeks, all I've managed to do is drive to work, teach, collapse at my desk, and half-heartedly try to grade some papers, or perhaps take a stab at  a research project, but the vigor from earlier years is definitely missing. Instead, when I step out to go to the bathroom, I look in the mirror, and realize that the bags under my eyes so lovingly placed there by family genetics have decided to pack two bags of their own this morning.

I also finally understand why so many Americans are overweight. It's their lack of sleep. Yes, seriously. You see, ever since I've started to feel as though every day is a marathon, I've also been eating like a pig. If my body can't get its energy from sleep, it will dang-it-you-got-that-right get it from food. And so I eat. Thankfully, I also exercise, so I have yet to start resembling a beached whale, but I can see why so many people here do. It's not because they don't exercise, but because they don't get enough sleep. Well-rested people are just not as hungry. American doesn't need a "60 minutes of play!" program, it needs a "let's cut the workday back to seven hours!" movement.

Moreover, I am also beginning to grasp why American customer service is the best in the world. It's because tired people have zero patience. I mean, I'm pretty sure there are two women in our human resources department who will never ever again tell a faculty member that there really only is one person who can fix a certain glitch and that that person is on leave for the entire week. The best way to avoid a tired person's wrath is to a) know what you're doing and talking about, and b) be really, really nice about it.

I'm telling you people, sleep is what makes the world go round.

Pay it forward: Southern style

Some things never change, and the fact that life speeds up into a kaleidoscope of students, papers, grades, research, panel discussions and meetings after midterms is one of those things. Add to that the fact that I think I'm currently suffering from the accumulated fatigue of four years of working my butt off (if I'm not asleep at my desk, I will write more about that this week), and you can imagine that I'm not exactly dancing and singing my way through life right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy and generally content with life as a whole, I'm just about as sluggish as an entire sorority after rush. I forget to take the right binder to class, have still not been able to remember half my new students' names, and I'm pretty sure neglected to take care of several things I've simply forgotten about.

Believe me or not, however, there is no better place to live at a time like this than the south. If you're ever tired, overworked, or forgetful, I highly recommend you move to Georgia, as everyone here is always nice, but especially when you're obviously struggling with daily life, such as the need to stay awake and get your work done.

Take this week, for instance. It's only Tuesday, but I can already think of three occasions where people I barely (or in one case did not) know went out of their way to make my life easier.

Case #1: I needed to walk a form to an office all the way across campus, and halfway there realized I had filled out the form wrong. Grumbling about the fact that I was wearing high heels, and now needed to trot about a mile and a half back to my office,  and was obviously an idiot for not checking the form properly before I left my office, I turned around. Five steps later, a lady who worked with us on our self-study last year pulled up in a golf cart and asked me if I needed a ride to my building. Delighted, I accepted. She dropped me off at my building, and then turned around.
"Don't you need to be here?" I asked
"Oh no, " She said, "I need to be on the south (read: completely other side of campus) side, but I thought I would give you a ride"
Now that's just nice.

Case #2: I've been "borrowing" a cup of coffee from the secretaries down the hall every once in a while. Their office is not in our department, but they're the closest office with a coffeemaker, and in return for my bringing in a bag of coffee once a semester, they let me drink their coffee. Yesterday, after I hadn't been in to get coffee for about a week (too busy to make the trek down the hallway), one of the secretaries emailed me, "Hey, haven't seen you in a while, but wanted to let you know that we brewed a pot of that gourmet coffee you brought in, and we're saving a cup for you."
People, that almost made me cry, that's just so nice.

Case #3: This morning, about ten minutes before class was about to start, I realized I had left something in my car. I rushed down the stairs, towards the front door, when I realized it was pouring down rain, and my umbrella was upstairs in my office. Well crap. I turned around, saw an open office door, and poked my head in:
"Hi. I know you don't know me, but I need to run out to my car, and it's raining, can I borrow someone's umbrella?"
"Of course!"
Not only did the lady behind the desk loan me her umbrella, when I came back in with a armload full of books, she held the door open for me, took the umbrella out of my clumsy hands, and waved my thanks away.
I'm telling you, that woman deserves a medal.

Now you'll have to excuse me while I try to go and catch up on my sleep.