Pride and prejudice

Did you know that people need stereotypes to function? I never did until a dozen and something years ago when a psychology professor taught us that people use “schemata”, i.e., standard interpretations, to make sense of the world around them. Apparently you simply don’t have the mental capacity to create a new definition of every single thing you see. So when some people see a blond, little woman (like myself), they really can’t help the fact that they will think “cheerleader turned soccer mom” as opposed to “professor”. Apparently stereotypes and prejudices are essential to prevent someone from completely losing their mind due to stimulation-overload. This, however, does not mean that people can’t adjust their schemata. Education and experience will confront people with situations that do not match their schemata so often, that people will have no choice but to alter their set interpretations.

Now when you live overseas, stereotypes really do become part of your daily life. There are your own stereotypes about Americans, people’s stereotypes about Dutch people, and then of course, Dutch friends’ stereotypes about Americans. And I have to admit that the latter bug me the most. Especially when people who have only visited the US sporadically, judge Americans as though they have spent their entire two-week vacation surveying a representative sample of all 300 million Americans about a wide variety of topics. So in light of that I thought I would address some of the stereotypes I hear the most often.

1. Americans are loud
This one is really true. But you know what, if everyone is loud, you really can’t tell. The American propensity to interact a little louder than say a group of demure British ladies from the home counties only becomes obvious when the Americans are no longer in their natural environment. And let’s be honest here, can’t we all point at some slightly embarrassing or annoying behavior exhibited by our own nationality that only becomes obvious when we’re among foreigners? I thought so.

2. Americans are either really overweight or look like Barbie dolls.
I first heard this one when we lived in France and attended an American school, and various American moms were always really dolled up, while several others were really obese. Admittedly, there are a lot of obese Americans. And it is true that there is a specific group of, mainly southern, women, who has made it their life goal, through the use of botox, eighties hairdos, lots of make-up, and fifties clothing, to resemble the more traditional Barbie dolls. But when I look around me, I see a lot of really just normal people. Some may have bigger butts, or hips, or a little belly, but I doubt that’s a trait reserved only for Americans. It’s true that Americans in the south spend maybe a little more time on their looks than Dutch people do, but most don’t even come close to a Barbie doll. And in all honestly, the last time I was in the Netherlands, I wasn’t exactly under the impression that it was a country full of lean, well-trained people either.

3. Everything in America is big.
You got me there. Houses, at least in my neck of the woods, are definitely bigger than they are in Holland. Grocery stores here make the Dutch Albert Heijn seem like a Chevron quick-mart, and just our local Target is big enough to house a soccer stadium. Roads are wider, parking spaces are bigger, glasses are taller, and serving sizes are enormous. And did you know that furniture is bigger than it is in Europe too? I heard that although Ikea may carry the same furniture here as it does in Holland, it’s all actually a few inches bigger than in Europe. The only change I’ve seen over the past few years is that American cars don’t seem that much bigger than their European counterparts anymore. I think this is in part because rising fuel prices over here have forced people to buy more economical cars, and in part because Europeans have begun to appreciate the luxury of American SUVs.

4. Americans are superficial.
This last stereotype really annoys me beyond belief. I hear it very often in conjunction with something like “We were on vacation and met a lot of Americans. They’re so nice, and they’ll always talk to you, even though they are, of course, very superficial”, or “Americans are nice, but they never get beyond the superficial”. Right, and so you’re telling me you expect strangers to forgo the “Where are you from” and “What do you do” and jump straight into questions such as “So would you say your relationship is fulfilling all your emotional and physical needs”? Because we all know that Dutch people, when seeing other Dutch people, will immediately drop everything they’re doing, walk over, greet you, and try to find out everything about you. People who come from a country where wishing strangers a “good morning” results in odd looks at best really shouldn’t comment on another country’s social habits.
I have been racking my brain, and I really can’t for the life of me figure out how Americans are superficial. I actually think it has nothing to do with Americans, and all to do with the Dutch. You see, the Dutch, when they first meet you, will adopt the “kat uit de boom kijken” approach, i.e., let’s wait and see. They’ll introduce themselves, say hello, and then they’ll retreat to observe whether or not they like you. Dutch people don’t do a lot of small talk, and they are only nice to people they really like, their friends and family. So when Americans are nice to them, even though they may have only just met, I’m guessing that Dutch people automatically look at them as friends, and thus expect a whole lot more than small talk.
Look, I really don’t know. I just made that up, obviously. All I know is that I think Americans are some of the nicest people I have met, and once they become your friends, you can have the most in-depth and profound conversations with them.

After listening all of these, I just realized I may have just developed my first real overseas stereotype about Dutch people: They like using stereotypes. Wait, I'm Dutch. We like using stereotypes!