Locks and keys

I used to never misplace my keys. And I mean never. It was quite scary actually, especially considering I’ve always multiple sets of keys; one for the house, one for my bike, one for my car, one for the office, etc. I used to put my keys in the pocket of my pants, and I hated walking around with a big lump on my side, hence I split my keys up into separate sets. And in spite of that, I used to be able to keep perfect track of where they were; my office keys were in my workbag, my carkeys in my purse, my bike-keys on the table in the hallway, ad nauseam.

Ever since I moved to the US, all that has changed. Just this morning, I spent a good five minutes hunting down my keys, and yesterday morning I had no clue what I had done with them. And who’s to blame? Not me, no, obviously, America is at fault here.

First, there are those pesky automatic garagedoors. Ours can be opened using a little gadget inside my car, as well as a keypad outside the door, and hence we really only use the front door if we have company. The only time I use my keys is to drive my car and get into my office. Since I simply refuse to drive anywhere on weekends, instead preferring that the love of my life, the man with the 8-mile commute, play chauffeur, this means that when I’m not at work, there’s no need for me to know where my keys are at. So now imagine what happens when I come home from my last commute of the week. I come home, fling my arms around nearby family members and pets, toss my bags in my designated corner of the bedroom, and leave them there. Since our magical garage door means I won’t be needing my keys for another three days, I don’t usually pay attention where they end up. And that’s where things go south from time to time. I have seriously found my keys underneath my dresser on Monday morning. I know I should have a designated place for my keys, but there’s just not a special spot where they wouldn’t get moved again. I’m thinking the perfect solution would be a hallway table with a little dish for all our keys. The problem with that is that our house, according to true southern standards, does not have a hallway. It has an “entryway” instead; a little area that feels like a hallway but is open on all sides and can be seen from anywhere in the living room. The “entryway” has a little sideboard, but since that too is in full view, I really don’t think that would be an appropriate place for a dish full of keys and other odds and ends which will eventually spill over and end up everywhere. I know I could use the kitchen, but husband-dear, who truly has a knack for losing just about everything, has taken up that room with little organizer hooks and dishes, and I would hate to mess up his system.

The perfect place for my keys would, of course, be my purse. But that will not really work either, and makes for my second point. You see, when I lived in Holland, I did use to keep my keys in my purse. And it worked because that was when little purses where in fashion. I don’t know what’s hot back in the Low Lands right now, but out here, big purses are the thing right now. The bigger the better. And since I do like to carry a whole host of things around with me (from daily planners to cameras, to body lotion and deodorant), I too have quite a voluminous purse. It has different sections and a bunch of folds and creases. Now try and find a key in there. I’ve seriously given up on my keys, only to, after thirty minutes of intense searching, huffing and puffing, find them stuffed in the tiniest corner of a crease in my purse.

For someone who likes to know where everything is at all times, this is quite a bewildering and frustrating experience. The dresspants I wear to work nowadays don’t have room for a set of keys in their pockets, and I really feel the days of the lanyard are over. So what to do? Maybe I’ll see if the men in facilities will put in a fingerprint-keypad on my office door. And perhaps I can use voice recognition to start my car. We’re in the land of opportunity, so I don’t see why not. Out with the keys, in with the new!