The prince(ss) on the pea

Just because I know all my readers are simply dying for a tidbit of information that will make them cover their ears and squeal "TMI! TMI!", I am now going to tell you something relatively innocuous: I am a very wild sleeper. And I don't mean that in a leather-whips-boa type of manner, no, I am apparently very active at night. I talk, sing, walk, grunt, groan, and generally flail my arms about in a manner that could be construed as possibly dangerous if you happen to be my bedmate. And that would of course be husband-dear.

Husband-dear is the lightest sleeper in the world. And I mean the world. Is there a dog barking within a one-mile radius? He's wide awake. Did I stop breathing for a second? It will wake him up three in the morning. Is one of the dogs licking herself? He's done. And I mean done. You see, once husband-dear wakes up, he can almost never go back to sleep. Add to that my nighttime behavior, and you can imagine that the poor guy had some adjusting to do when we started sharing a bed got married. I have apparently kept him awake with a wide array of things, ranging from my irregular breathing to persistent kicking to loud, yet incoherent conversations in any one of three languages (I have apparently cried for help in English, Dutch, and French).

And honestly, I do feel bad. I know that I have a history of this sort of nocturnal bad attitude, one that started when I was three, and I disappeared from my bed, only to be found fast asleep on top of my mom's sewing desk on the other side of the house, and that included such embarrassing occasions as scaring the bejeesus out of my roommate in college in one night when I screamed so loud she was convinced a killer had just broken into our room and had started slaughtering me, or screaming for my mother in a room full of strangers at a Thai youth hostel. So at this point, I'm pretty convinced this affliction is here to stay. Now I suppose if you compare it other common ailments such as dandruff, dry skin, or sweaty feet, it's not bad. Well, unless you are my husband of course. The prince on the pea.

Although I do wonder how this man survived deployments and things like that. You know, mortars, people talking, loudspeakers, mortars, lights, trucks, and did I mention mortars? He said he would sleep fine because he was just really tired, although he retracted that statement and replaced it with a "I don't know" after I pointed out that perhaps he needed to more things to do during the day if we didn't wear him out enough. And then last spring break, we found out what used to help him sleep.
Generators.
You see, while we were at my brother's house, the neighbor was having work done on their roof, and so the workmen would show up at 6:30 and start their generator. And while the entire house turned and twisted in their beds, husband-dear would finally sleep like a baby.

But since putting a full-blown generator in our bedroom is not really an option (because you know, I will definitely trip over that baby on one of my nocturnal treks, and break something, and then where would we be?), husband-dear wears earplugs, I try to keep it down for as much as I can control it, and husband-dear has done amazingly well.

Take last night for instance. After a week filled with drama, stress, interesting leadership, and one extremely upset student, my mind was, apparently, still reeling, for I was having one bad dream. People were yelling at me, and running around, and it was all around chaos. And I was about to get punched when I felt someone rub my elbow. And I woke up. And I asked husband-dear what he was doing, "whazzudoin?"
"I woke up abbout an hour ago, and couldn't sleep, and noticed you were having a bad dream, so I thought I would wake you."
"dizziwakeu?" (Translation: Did I wake you up?)
"No, I just couldn't sleep."
"Oh. Thankz"
And off to sleep I went again, while husband-dear continued to count sheep. Or motorcycles. I don't know.

I'm surprised the man doesn't absolutely dislike me by now, but he doesn't. He's a real prince. On a pea. But a prince nonetheless.