All night long

Did you know that Steak and Shake has a happy hour? And that during this happy hour, everything is half price? No?
Well, I didn't either. As since I love a bargain, this is quite the embarrassment. I mean, I am the rollback lady, and to not know about a half-off deal is just not up to par.

In my defense, until a few years ago, I didn't even know what Steak and Shake was, as this seems to be a chain that never really quite made it up north. Or west of the Mississippi. But anyway, our little hamlet is lucky enough to be blessed with a Steak and Shake, and besides servind the best shoestring fries and milkshakes I have ever had, they also have a happy hour. And this happy hour is from 2-4pm and am. Yes. Steak and Shake has a happy hour from 2-4 AM. That would be at night. At. Night.

Now if we lived in a town like the million of college towns across America, where bars close anywhere between 2 and 4 in the morning, I could see the point of a happy hour in the middle of the night. After all, late night revellers love nothing better than to end the night with some nice, sticky greasiness, and since the concept of the "doner kebab" has yet to break through in my neck of the woods, a burger place is not such a bad idea. But we're not a college town. We're a God-fearing, troop-supporting, two-Walmart, one-Big-Lots town that is dry on Sundays. So why the Steak and Shake is open at night is beyond me.

And the same really applies to the Taco Bell, the Walmart, the Waffle House, the Kroger, and really any other large store in town. I mean, sure, extended hours are very practical, as proven right now by husband-dear's quick "I forgot to buy meat" trip to the grocery store. I mean, where in Holland, or Germany, or Belgium, or France, or Scandinavia, or even England can you go out and buy beef tips at 8:30 at night on a Saturday? Nowhere, if my memory serves me right. So, yes, stores not closing at 4pm sharp is nice. But why does a Walmart need to be open 24 hours a day? I mean, seriously, who, besides a few people with seriously poor planning skills, needs lightbulbs, flat sheets, digital cameras, fishing gear, and motor oil at three in the morning? Or tacoes? Or Waffles? Having the munchies at 4am is one thing, but getting into your car and driving to a Waffle House seems just really close to slightly deranged to me.

Honestly, I can think of one use of all this 24-hour business, and that is to help me go to sleep. You see, every once in a while, I will wake up in the middle of the night, and feel wide awake. It's extremely annoying, and only a week after moving here, and realizing that the two Walmarts never closed, I quickly discovered that the one thing that put me back to sleep was imaging I would get up and go to Walmart. I envisioned myself getting dressed, getting into my car, driving through a deserted town, and by the time I pulled into the Walmart parking lot, I would be dead asleep. Perfect.

But besides serving as a natural sleeping aide, I really wonder about the use of all of it. I mean, sure, it's practical to know that you can run to the store for beef tips at 9 on a Saturday night, but would we have really been worse off if we had to run out tomorrow morning to get them? Or maybe, and I'm really going out on a limb here, wait until Monday? Obviously, we would be cooking something else tomorrow, but would that have really been the end of the world?

I realize that to some of my Dutch friends, all of whom have complained about the restrictive opening hours of most Dutch stores, this probably sounds ridiculous. But the main problem I see with the 24-hour economy, is that it never ends. There is never an excuse to not do something. Do you need an oil-change on Sunday? The Walmart car service is open from ten to six. Need a haircut on a Monday night? Cuts r Us is open until nine. And it goes on and on. And the lights are never turned off, and the city never sleeps.

Maybe we do need to move to the country.