What's in a name...

...technically, nothing. As we all know, a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet, bla bla, bla. Obviously, Shakespeare never had to debate the whole name-changing debacle when he got married, or else that famous line might have read something like, "A rose by any other name will probably not smell just as sweet, as the use of a different name will most likely set us up for a completely different nasal experience. We may, in fact, mistakenly assume it for another flower, or insist that it's now a tree."

I never had a problem explaining the "Yes, Hi! I'm Mrs. Married, but at work, I'd like to be Dr. Maiden", until, well, you guessed it. Until I moved here. Here apparently being the land that is still stuck in the 1950s, also known as rural Georgia. I had never considered the apparently incredible complications of adopting my husband's name when we got married, but maintaining my maiden name at work, until my arrival in the land of Dixie, mainly because, well, there never were any complications.

But when I arrived at my current workplace, you'd have thought I had just proposed to alter the laws of gravity, the way various bosses and managers stared and complained when I insisted on being called "Dr. Maiden". I smiled a lot, nodded, but persisted. And won. Well, sort of, as some databases have me listed as Dr. Maiden Name, while others have opted for the "we're not quite sure about this, but OK" option of Dr. Maiden Name-Married Name, and the IT department opted to just stick with "Mrs. Maiden name", no matter what I told them.

After three years of this mess, I decided I was tired of fighting the battle, and constantly explaining myself. I was going to just go with the flow and hyphenate my last name. So when I finally got around to putting in my citizenship application a few months ago, I indicated that I wanted to change my last name to Maiden Name-Married Name. And no, I wasn't giving in, thankyouverymuch, I was merely joining the crowd of American feminists who had also opted to hyphenate their last names. In fact, hyphenating my last name, I told myself, would be even more of a kick in the face of establishment. You see, people have mistaken my, very international, maiden name for my married name (going as far as to refer to husband-dear as Mr. Maiden name), but by hyphenating, I was making it very clear I was a truly independent woman. You know, someone's who's this far from burning her bra and ceasing all shaving activities altogether.

But over the past few weeks, I've started thinking. And you know what? I really don't like the idea of hyphenating. At all. Sorry to all of you who do hyphenate. I think your last names are awesome, and you rock. But I'm not sure if it's for me. First of all, it makes my last name something like eighteen characters long. Eighteen characters people. Not only is that ridiculously long, but it will mean that on every single reservation, the last few letters of my married name will get cut off. I don't see that facilitating my daily existence any. Second, there is the pesky little problem that most computer systems, especially those used by airlines, still don't recognize the hyphen, which means your beautifully hyphenated last name into a weird amalgam of two names. Not to mention the battle you will then be fighting to check in online, check in using a kiosk, or check in at all (trust me, if the airline employee is dim enough, it is possible). And third, I don't like the sound of my two last names strung together. I just don't. Sorry.

So, guess what? I'm not hyphenating. I'm not changing my last name. I am going to keep my legal last name as my married name, and work under my married name. And yes, that's going to keep on sucking. But I'm OK with that. I will keep fighting the battle, and no, I don't really care how annoying that is. I am Mrs. Married name and Dr. Maiden name, and anyone who can't handle that can kiss my maiden/married hiney.

There.