Saying goodbye..

...why is it sad?
Makes us remember the good times we had..

Saying Goodbye ~ The Muppets

Does this look familiar to anyone? Well, it should, as I just now realized that back in 2010 I wrote a blog that started with the exact same title and lyrics. And interestingly, that blog pretty much covers the lament that was going to make up the beginning of this blog. You know, all about how although moving itself gets easier, saying goodbye to dear friends doesn't. But now that I've already written that down once, I guess I'm free to move on to the meat and potatoes (or pasta and salad if you prefer).

After saying goodbye to Mary in June, to Jess only on Wednesday, and knowing that I'll have to say goodbye to Shelly in about five weeks, I sat down and tried to figure out why saying goodbye gets harder when you get older. And, I'm sure you'll be delighted to know, I think I got it. At least for now.

You see,  as you get older, your life story lengthens and becomes more complicated. Stuff happens, and adds to who you are, and your outlook on life. But even though it plays an integral role in shaping who you are, it's simply too much and too long to have to share over and over again with people you just met. Yet without sharing the story of your life, these people will never know you as well as people who do know every little chapter. And that's what makes this whole, "Hey honey, guess what!? We're moving to Langley/Italy/Idaho" a lot harder with every move.

Normal people (and I'm not implying that military wives, or people who move a lot are somehow abnormal (although I could make a case if you want me to), but let's assume that "normal people" refers to people who don't pick up sticks and move ever few years), well, they have people in their lives who have been there through at least some of the significant chapters in their lives. People who know why you hate going to baby showers for instance, or can't stand hearing a certain song on the radio. People who understand your in-jokes, and know you don't like chocolate ice cream. When you move a lot, it's really difficult to find people like that, and let me tell you (in case my griping hasn't clarified this by now), that gets old, really fast.

With Shelly's departure, for instance, I will no longer have any friends who were there when I went through the "no-babies-for-us" drama. Kay and Shelly were front and center went all that went down over two years ago. Although I can honestly say that I'm pretty much over it (for now - you know, let's not count our chickens before they've hatched and all that, and wow, could I have picked a worse metaphor here?), it is an important part of who I am, and yet none of newer friends can really know how it shaped me, just because they weren't there. And that's just weird, for lack of a better word.

But this is where I'm completely inconsistent. Reading all of this, you would think that I want nothing more but live somewhere for a really long time. In reality, however, the answer to that option is a loud and heartfelt oh-dear-mother-of-mary-NO. As far as I'm concerned, actually, we've been here long enough already.  And this isn't just because of the location, but really because I can't stand the thought of living anywhere for more than a few years. Naturally, I blame my parents for this, who had me moving around every few years starting at a very young ways. When I got older, I just couldn't stop.

However, I'm sure you see my dilemma. I hate saying goodbye to friends, yet I hate living in the same place for an extended period of time. In scientific terms, this is called cognitive dissonance, and according to a variety of very learned scholars, I should not be able to live with this dissonance. If tens of studies are to be believed, I will, upon discovering the dissonance, change the belief that I like to move, or change my attitude towards saying goodbye. I'm not sure what the consequences will be if I don't, but the fact of the matter is that I've living with this dissonance in a semi-content state for several years now. This cannot be a good thing for my overall health.

Or I could just go for a nice long run and pretend none of this is real, and Shelly's orders will be canceled. Sounds like a great plan to me...