Heaven help me

So the reason I've been somewhat absent on the blogging front lately is the same reason I'm grading papers at 9am on a Sunday morning. Easter Sunday morning, no less. It's because I once again do not have enough hours in a day to do all the things I promised I would. And also because husband-dear and I decided that there would be no better way to start our day than by getting up at 5:45am to attend the 7am Sunrise service. I figured that once my soul and body had been adequately fed (the sunrise service leads into a huge, scrumptious breakfast), I would be more than ready to face the latest slew of student creations.

I was wrong.

Not wanting to bore you with yet another list of heinous writing errors, I'll just remind you that not too long ago I posted about how Georgia students' scores on standardized tests had dropped again in the past years. It would seem that some of those students have made it into college now. I'll also remind you of all those times I complained about students not knowing the difference between "there", "they're", and "their". How I wish that was my biggest concern right now. I just finished grading two papers where I spent two pages debating if the students were high when they wrote the paper, turned in an assignment for another class, or had merely slept through all of my lectures. It wasn't just the lack of paragraphing or proper sentence structure. It was a complete and total lack of direction. It was the squirrel-dog from "Up" on speed.

I've considered following the path of the least resistance, the one favored by probably smarter non-tenured co-workers, and one that will probably ensure my tenure is a shoe-in. The one that would guarantee that I would be done with this by noon, and could still enjoy some semblance of Easter. All I would have to do would be to give everyone a passing grade. Not all As, mind you, there would be some Bs and Cs in there too. But no Ds, and definitely no Fs. Not even for the worst of the plagiarists. I would just write short little comments about major oversights and letting the "smaller" issues (like paragraphing, proper citations, and clarity) go. If a student plagiarized, I would pull out my blue (red has been proven to negatively affect students' self-esteem) pen, and write in an exclamation mark and a constructive little comment like, "Try not to do this in the future!". And if a paragraph makes absolutely no freaking sense, one might pen in something positive yet directive like, "Reread this paragraph, it might need some work."

My co-workers and most of the employees at the advising center call this type of feedback "student-centered" and argues that it takes the student's limitations into account, only pushing them on those areas in which they show the potential to improve. In practice, it means that if Sandy can't write a proper paragraph to save her life, just let it go. She's already indicated she wants to go into television production, so what does her inability to organize a paper matter? And if John keeps plagiarizing, it obviously means the instructor has not done a good job explaining how to avoid plagiarism. It all comes back to the instructor, after all. As for me, I say it means that you've given up. You've given up on your students and their ability to learn. You've given up on yourself as a teacher, your own morals and integrity. And you've given up on the idea that only really hard work pays off.

So if I believe all of that, and I know it's true, why can't I just grit my teeth and show these kids (again) how to write? Why am I tired, worn out, and starting to believe that maybe it's me, and maybe I'm not the inspiring and smart teacher I like to think I am? Why I do yearn for the days I taught at a Dutch university and all of my VWO-graduates would freak out if their paper was two pages over the maximum? Wow, how I miss my over-achieving, nitpicking, self-starting, and above all, motivated VWO-students. The kinds of kids who need just a "that's not quite what I was talking about" to completely rip their paper apart and start over. Not that I don't have students like that over here, as I do. It's just that the majority appears to hold me personally responsible for their progress or lack thereof.

You all know me long enough by now that I will keep grading. And I'll keep telling my students things like, "Writing "because" does not prove causality" and "you must quotation marks around a direct quote". And I'll keep believing in their ability to become great writers, thinkers, and scholars. Because I think that in spite how much they might have been shortchanged by the education system in the Great State of Georgia, they can all be as good if not better than my little VWO show-offs. It's just that every once in a while, I just want to shake each of my little darlings individually, give them their paper back, and tell them, "Now don't turn it in until you know it's good enough for Dr. D."

Maybe I just need some coffee.