An almost-American

I know that I have alluded to my almost-Americanness several times throughout the history of this blog, and I'm sure that as far as my readers are concerned, this is probably a status that is never going to change. You know, me as an eternal permanent resident who claims they will file their citizenship application soon. Really. Promise. In time for the next election.

But you all will be very surprised/happy/disappointed/apalled/pick an adjective to match your mood/completely uncaring to hear that as of yesterday, my application is completely filled out, sitting in an envelope, ready to be sent off. And since it's only taken about 18 months since I first printed out my application, this can, as far as I'm concerned, really be seen as a Christmas miracle. Especially if you consider it took me less than 18 months to analyze all my data and write my entire 300-page dissertation.

So why did it take me so long in the first place? Well, in all honesty, my laziness (or, as my lovable husband-dear likes to say, "The fact that you have about a million other things going at during any normal year"). You should probably know that I absolutely abhor paperwork. I'm still not sure how husband-dear and I made it through my visa procedure at all, and in what could be considered record-time at that, as I absolutely rock at procrastinating when it comes to bureacracy. A feat which itself is amazing when you realize I can't stand procrastination. At all. I'd rather do something now than tomorrow, including nasty dentist visits, writing a book chapter, and making the grocery list. Except for filling out paperwork apparently. It's a good thing you are required to file taxes by law, otherwise I just know that I would never ever file them. Just because the thought of dealing with all those W2s, 1099s, receipts, property tax forms is enough to have me break out into hives.

And just to clarify; the N400 may not require a lot of paperwork, but the form itself is quite the nightmare. OK, I'll tone it down a little bit; compared to most visa forms you have to fill out, it's really not that bad. It doesn't ask for your mother's aunt's middle name, for one thing. But it does require you to look up lots and lots of pesky details. And that's where the second reason for my procrastination comes in: I am a perfectionist. And so I can't just take a stab at when I was out of the coutnry, and where I want. No, I will make myself go through old scrapbooks to find the -exact- dates. And oh my word, what to do if the date on a boarding pass is not the same as the date stamped into your passport?! That right there is a reason to debate the ethically correct date to fill outfor about three days.

The kicker for me, however, was the question that required you to list all the organizations you have ever been affiliated with. I am flabbergasted when people who have filled out this form tell me they could not think of anything to put there, because I have spent most of my life volunteering, taking classes, joining gyms, riding stables, and choirs. It took me about a year to think of every organization I had ever come into contact with, and the final list was - wait for it- one page long. Being a perfectionist, I couldn't, once again, just take a stab at this, and then tell myself that the USCIS sure wouldn't be interested in the exact name of thoir I sang with in 1995. No, it had to be perfect. Because that's what they asked for. As I told husband-dear whenever he would exclaim at my precision and worrying, "The form doesn't tell you, 'please take a stab at the organizations you were in that you think we want to know about'".

But all those hurdles have been taken. The form is filled out, I have had passport pictures taken, and all I need to do now is write the check. And send the envelope. Hmm...check back with me in another week or so. I should have it mailed by then. I think.