No no drama, no no no drama

I hinted at the relative lack of stress earlier in the week, and now that finals week is coming to a close, I have to come to the conclusion that, for the first time in over four years, there has been no student-drama. None. At all.

Although I would love to tell you that it's because this year's graduating seniors are all mature, poised, and collected young adults who understand the notion of action --> consequence, I'm afraid that's not it. I think this sudden drop in drama is related to the most brilliant scheduling change ever implemented by the registrar. And I mean "brilliant" in the most literal way possible.

While in previous years, grades for graduating seniors were due a week before everyone else's (so the registrar's office could determine whether a graduate could actually graduate, or would be gracing the campus with his or her presence for another semester or two), this year, the registrar's office decided that that was far too stressful for everyone else. So instead, senior grades are due with everyone else's, and although all graduating seniors are allowed to "walk" (i.e., participate in graduation), not all of them will receive their diploma in the mail the following week.

At first I didn't think much of this decision. Why not let graduating seniors know how they did on their last classes before commencement? It didn't seem fair to let them walk, but then leave them in the dark about whether or not that walk was "it", or not.

But then I regained my common sense, and came to several important realizations: 1) no need to administer senior finals a week early, which means that a) there is no need to develop finals early, b) no need to grade them while I'm in the middle of grading a million papers, and c) no need to design my final grading sheet while grading those same million papers. The second realization (yes I realize I owe you guys a 2), but that would have created the longest run-on in the world, which is just wrong), anyway, the second realization was that seniors would now no longer realize they were not graduating until -after- commencement and I had long gone home for the break. And this meant they wouldn't have a chance to have a full-on break down in my office. Well, technically, I suppose they still can, but I won't be there. Sure, they can send me nasty emails, leave me endless voicemails, but those have got nothing on a full-on, histrionics-filled implosion, complete with veiled threats, pleas to my humanity, and references to old semi-invalid grandparents who had just sold their last family heirloom to buy a plane ticket to see their only grandchild graduate.

So, and I never though I would say this, thank you Mrs. Registrar. This was a true stroke of brilliance (which probably means it will be revoked next semester, however, let's rejoice while we can).

Now, let the commencement commence!