Just a precaution before I begin: if you don't like cuss words, or if you are someone who actually uses the term "cuss words", you may want to skip this post. Not that I'm about to start bandying the f-bomb around, but there will be repeated use of the d-word. And possibly also the s-word. So considered yourselves warned.
For the past few weeks, husband-dear have been church-hunting. We have, among other things, joined a "life group" (i.e., an adult bible study) at a church right around the corner from our house. We're not committing that church just yet, and we're also not entirely sure about the life group itself, especially after last night, but we figured we'd give it a try. Today, as I walked in with my heating pad and extension cord, one of the other life group attendees asked the obvious question ("why?") followed up by a less obvious question, "So your back is still not OK?", to which I responded with a heartfelt, "No. I mean, damn, it hurts."
The silence punctured by a few uneasy giggles that followed that statement made me realize I had once again committed a serious faux pas. You see, proper southern Christians do not swear. Or excuse me, cuss. Jesus doesn't like it.
So I quickly made up an excuse, and muttered something about having to give a come to Jesus talk to one of my students right before I left. Now this did actually happen. A fellow professor had complained to me about one my advisees running his mouth in class, and so when I saw said student, let's call him Jack, I called Jack into my office. Jack's excuse was that the professor had "crossed the line" a week prior, and Jack wasn't having any of it. What line had the professor crossed? Well, he had had the audacity to cuss Jack out. More specifically, he had told Jack to "stop messing around in class, dammit." So I asked the student what the professor had meant by "messing around", to which Jack responded he might have possibly been chatting and napping during class. Well, I argued, you probably needed a good wake up call then, didn't you?
"But, professor, he cussed. Like, OMG, you don't cuss." Jack sounded very sincere. Unfortunately, for Jack anyway, I know him a little too well.
"You cuss yourself, Jack, you know that."
"No I don't. Honestly, professor."
"Dammit Jack, have you read own tweets lately? They're not exactly G-rated either, are they?"I shook my head, "How can you play all high and mighty offended Christian when your own tweets use more cusswords than your average hip hop song? Seriously?"
At this point, Jack got the idea.
Unfortunately, my fellow life group members didn't.
"Oh no, " on of them exclaimed, "And here I was, feeling bad that today, when my second graders were really pushing my buttons, I no longer had the energy to tell them "shush", but instead told them to shut up. Wow."
A collective "oooh" indicated that this was, apparently, very bad, a thought further underlined by a second member's response, "Yeah, I always have my kindergartners tell on each other when that happens, 'Hey, Mrs. C., so and so just said the s-word', 'what did they say honey? It's OK you can tell me', 'well, they told me to shut up'. It's so cute"
So besides not discussing armpit hair, apparently telling someone to shut up is also unacceptable now. And the funny thing is, none of this is in the bible. Yes, there is the commandment that tells you to not use the Lord's name in vain, one which would lead my Jewish friend to edit that last sentence to spell "L-d". But unless one tells someone to shut up in God's (or G-d's) name, I'm not seeing it. And then of course there is Ephesians 4, where Paul tells his readers to let nothing but wholesome talk come from their mouths. When "damn" is used to reflect a "wow!" or "man!", is that unwholesome? When you tell a bunch of rowdy kids to shut up, is that not wholesome? Is learning to be quiet not wholesome? Apparently, I'm missing something here.
On the other hand, it does explain why my student was so upset. Not only was he cussed at, he was told in no uncertain terms to stop doing something. And that's not wholesome, apparently.
But seriously though, and I'm quoting The Princess Diaries here (an overall wholesome movie)
Shut. Up.
2 comments:
Professor D, you don't get it either. Objecting to saying "shut up" has nothing to do with religion. It is a an issue of culture, or lack of culture. In the South, saying "shut up" is considered uncouth, rough and impolite. I would take offense, too, if I were told to shut up and I am an atheist.
@Dutch southerner: I can assure you that I do "get it". I realize it's a cultural issue, just as I realize that here in the south, religion and culture are inexorably intertwined. What I was trying to do in this post was question the label that the south has placed on the phrase "shut up". Why would "shut up" be on a par with a cuss word like "damn"? And -why- do we find both offensive, when other parts of the US have no issues with these terms?
After having spent over five years in the south, I think I understand all the little idiosyncrasies very well. I just enjoy looking at them in wonderment every once in a while. That is the whole purpose of this blog. Not to explain, not to teach, but to wonder. And grin (at myself mainly). So when you tell me I don't get it, well, that just kind of flies in the face of the "Huh. Wow. I get why it is the way it is but why is that?" effect I'm trying to express in this post.
Oh, and although I understand that for a normal working adult "shut up" is offensive (and completely unrelated to religion), I am talking about a teaching environment here. And although I don't condone telling one's students to shut up on a regular basis (whispering works much better), anyone who has taught a group of rowdy students of any age knows that once every blue moon a very clear, "Alright and now everyone needs to shut up and listen" is the only thing that works. Southerner or not :)
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