"Homeward" bound

Thomas Wolfe said it most aptly when he titled his last book “You can’t go home again”. Just like you can’t relive your favorite day, and make time go faster when you want it to, you just can’t leave home, come back and expect things to be the same. I believe this is especially true when you have moved overseas. I mean, it’s one thing to return to your hometown and find that your favorite restaurant has closed down, but it’s something completely different when you return to your home country to find that they have changed the currency, changed traffic rules, or that you don't know how to say something is cool in a contemporary manner. Somehow whenever I live abroad, going back to Holland has always had more of a shock effect to it than anything else. I will be going to the Netherlands for three weeks this weekend, and I’m already dreading what will have changed since my last visit.

For one thing, I seem to vaguely remember they had an election. Or maybe they did when we still lived in Germany, I’m not sure. Or maybe they’re about to have an election. Either way, I’ve lost track of the names of all the ministers, who the current ruling party is, and what on earth some of these extreme right-wing politicians have been up to. At times I’ll make time to read a Dutch online newspapers, and will be surprised to find that it really doesn’t do anything for me anymore. Sometimes I don’t understand why certain topics are hot-button issue, like with the burkini (honestly, who cares what people wear to the public pool?), or I will find myself completely disagreeing with political commentators I used to like.

And please don’t get me started on fashion. Now I’m not a big fashionista, I generally wear what I like and think looks good. But in doing so, I am limited to what is sold in stores here. And somehow that is always different enough from Dutch fashion to have me look out of style. Either the colors are off, or the pants aren’t the right cut, or the heels aren’t shaped just right. Or I’ll actually wear the old college shirt, sneakers and faded jeans that I wrote about a few weeks ago, to a public place, and really get stared at. Now come to think of it, I’m really not that I’m that crazy about Dutch fashion anyway. The skinny pants in knee-high boots that seemed to be the absolute culmination of style last summer are, in my humble opinion, an absolute no-no. At least for me. In all fairness, I should probably point out that southern fashion is a world of its own too. For instance, although I am pretty sure that the stiletto heel has died a well-deserved death in the rest of the Western world, it is still alive and kicking down in the deep south. The same applies to ruffled shirts and leotard prints. Hmm…before you all think I dress like Dolly Parton….I do (just kidding :) )

The lingo, of course, is the first thing you lose. Whenever I talk to my friends, I sometimes feel like I’m from the 1990s. I still want to say “wreed” for “cool”, instead of “gaaf”. Although I’m actually pretty sure that word is outdated now too. See, there you have it. I can’t even tell you what the new hip terms are in Dutch. Next thing you know I’ll regress even further, and say things like “bakvissen” (bobbysoxers) and “dolletjes” (gee whiz!).

I guess what I’m trying to say is the place that somewhere in my mind I still think of as a form of “home” becomes less and less so, and there is no better reminder of it than a trip…home?