Betutteling at its best

Betutteling is one of those quirky Dutch words that doesn't really translate into English. Whenever a word doesn't really have an equivalent in another language, this generally signifies that the concept at hand simply does not exist in that particular culture. So after much debate with both husband-dear and some of my Dutch friends, we came to the conclusion that "grace", and thus related terms such as "social graces" can't really be translated into Dutch. Now as much as I love Dutch people, I do have to admit that secretly I believe that this lack of a proper translation relates to the notion that Dutch people really do not have the grace, or friendly manners, that say Americans have. However, before I seriously offend at least 50% of my readers, I would like to delve into the topic of the day, namely the concept of "betutteling".

Betutteling (pronounced as bah-TUT-tah-ling) can best be translated as patronizing, or condescending. However, in my non-longuist opinion, these two words don't really cover every dimension of the Dutch word. Betutteling means more than just knowing what's best for someone else, it also encompasses an assumption that the other person is absolutely ignorant about the potential dangers or benefits of the matter at hand, and involves a generous amount of talking to someone as though they've just graduated kindergarten. Now although I love Holland like no other, I do have admit, albeit with pain in my heart, that the Netherlands is truly the capital of betutteling. People just love to tell you what to do. And even though they always genuinely have your best interest at heart, coming from a society such as the US where people tend to leave you the heck alone unless you seriously tick them off, this can be very irksome.

What brings me to write about betutteling? Well, it's a lot of things, really. But what really took the cake was the sign in my parents' front yard. My parents own a summer home, which they like to refer to as their cottage. It's a on a bit of land pretty much in the middle of nowhere, which in Holland means that the nearest neighbor is about a quarter of a mile away. There's woods all around their house, and on the other side of the street, it's nothing but farms, horse stables, and endless fields for miles. Their town was recently made a part of a much larger, neighboring town, and ever since then, the betutteling has apparently gone through the roof. The first thing the new city council did was put 5 foot tall signs in people's front yards with their house number on it. The sign is huge (about one square foot), and because it's made of some sort of reflective material, you can now see their housenumber from about two miles down the road. The council didn't check with any of the residents, didn't ask for permission, or even people's opinions. One day, my parents came home, and there was the sign, right smack in between the trees. A letter in their mailbox a few days later explained that the council had done this so that Emergency Services could find the houses a little easier in the dark. And that's where the betuttelinng would drive me crazy. Has anyone here ever lived in a small town? Do you all know how things work in a small town? You call anyone, and I mean anyone, whether it's the local Chinese take-out, the plumber, or the local firehouse, and they all know exactly who you are, where you live, and what kind of car you drive. And even if they don't, all you would have to do to explain to someone where the cottage is, would be to say, "We're right down the dirt road from the Snorrewind Stables. It's a red log cabin.", and they would know where to go.
But, no. Someone of course knows better. So now my parents have a huge disfiguring sign in their yard.

But I'm sure it's all for the best. After all, what do we know?