Rhyming nuisances

There are several things you can say to me towards the end of the semester that will make steam come out of my ears. Or at least little tiny puffs of smoke. "We're out of coffee" would be one of them, as would, "Oh, yes, the final exam schedule has been changed again", while "I forgot to show up for advisement, could you help me now?" is a definite winner too. But the one statement that truly, honestly, completely sets my teeth on edge?
"I'm too blessed to be stressed."

This statement has to be a truly southern staple, because I hear it everywhere and all the time. At work, at a crowded grocery store, at church, at the gym, and even on the radio. And every time I hear it, I die a little on the inside. Seriously. There are so many things wrong with "too blessed to be stressed", that I frankly don't even know where to start.

First, the implicit, passive-aggressive reference to stress. Look, people, I know we're in the south, but if you're busy and stressed, just come out and say it. Stop beating around the bush. Please. You do realize that there is something between pouring out your gut and soul to someone, and pretending everything is OK, right? I mean, if you're stressed, I for one think it's absolutely acceptable to say, "Yeah, things are OK, but I'm just really busy.", or perhaps, "Well, I'm a little stressed out right now." I will say it once again: it's really fine to be honest. You don't have to be blunt or pour your entire life's sorrows, but telling people how you really feel will not automatically mean they will think you are a freak. Trust me. And if they, well, we're in the south, you will never know. Isn't that awesome?

Second, "too blessed to be stressed" somehow alludes to the firmly held southern belief that although you may be stressed out to the point where you are ready to get a divorce and turn your kids over to DFACS, complaining is just not done. It's the age old adage of you are always fine. Always. And if you're not, you will pretend as though you are. This really makes my skin crawl. Again, although I'm not arguing we all unburden our total selves on vague acquaintances, I see nothing wrong with complaining. Yes, we should be grateful that we have a roof over our head, food on the table, and clothes on our back, but does that mean that we automatically have no right to complain about all the other million and one things in life? Unless you're talking to someone in a homeless shelter, I think we can assume your conversation partner has a house too, so you're even there. No need to pretend everything is OK because you're not in a shelter. We know you're not. Well, except in the south, where Maslov's hierarchy of needs has apparently never quite caught on.

And finally, there is the incredible annoying religious reference. Welcome to the bible belt, where everything is God. And you know what, that's great. I like God, think He's a pretty neat dude myself. But I don't think that just because God (or whoever your deity of choice may or may not be) has blessed me, I am not allowed to be stressed, or better yet, talk about it. In fact, let's remain in the religious discourse for a moment, shall we? If we assume that there is a God, then we may also assume that God has created everyone in His image. And that means that God likes to whine, as far as I'm concerned. So then why should I feel the need to not be stressed because I'm blessed? Again, staying within a religious framework; God gave me a job 90 miles away, an immense overload, two kids, a husband with a crazy military job, two dogs, and a host of other responsibilities, so he knew he was causing stress. Even though all those things are blessings too. So why can't I be stressed and blessed at the same time? And from a thoroughly agnostic/atheist perspective, all there really is to say about "too blessed to be stressed" is that someone is in some serious denial there.

So, please, while I'm trying to stay afloat among six classes worth of papers, finals, portfolios, and prep next semester's classes, can we all please ixnay the "too blessed to be stressed" and make me some coffee instead? Thanks.