Southern what?

First of all, I would like to apologize to my dog. Because there is, as usual, something I need to get off my chest, her picture will no longer be at the top of the page. And that is something that warrants a heartfelt apology. So sorry doggy!

Anyway. I have a confession to make. I'm not big on pride. I don't mean that I can't be proud of people around me; husband, kids, students, because I can be. I also don't mean that I don't like where I live or where I'm from, just not in a "my child is an honor student" bumper sticker, Air Force tag or "God bless America" ribbon on my car sort of way. I show my pride in a subdued kind of way. If I'm proud of you, you'll know it, but please don't ask me to honor you on my car, on my clothes, or with flags waving in my yard on regular non-special days.

I realize that I'm definitely not the norm in this part of the world. Here people genuinely like to show their pride, and support for each cause, and person, they feel attached to. I think it's great. Sometimes I wish I could be more like that. I mean, it took me two days of agonizing before I decided to post pictures of the best puppy in the world on my blog. I love living in a state where a lot of people seem to think that an inch of visible paint on their car is wasted space. Honestly, I get a kick out driving behind people whose car allows me to figure out they're retired military (the tag), served in the Vietnam war (the "Proud to be a Vietnam vet!" bumper sticker), support the Democrats (an "Obama 08" magnet) and the troops (the famous yellow ribbon), and believe in God (although the "I am proud to serve a Jewish carpenter" sticker did throw me for a loop there for a moment).

But there are some forms of pride that I'm not too sure of. Like the two bumper stickers I saw just yesterday, both of which featured the confederate flag. One of them read: "Welcome to Dixie. If you don't like our flag, leave", and the other one said"No matter how hard they try, this flag will never die".

Now I realize that some southerners view the confederate flag as a way to show southern pride. And sure, there is no reason why someone shouldn't be proud of the place they come from. I mean, the south has produced some wonderful writers, politicians, artists, some of the tastiest food around, and heck, where would we be without front porches and sweet tea? Very stressed out probably. But I'm not sure I would express this pride using a symbol that, well, many people associate with, well, the losing side in the civil war. And now I know that there will be southerners who will tell me that they don't mean that when they wave their flag, and everyone just needs to understand that, but you know what, I'm not sure I agree with that anymore.

You see, I have another confession to make. I used to be very much a "live and let live" kind of person. And in some ways I still am. If you want to do something, and it doesn't hurt anyone else, go for it. I may think you're a freak, but by all means, go for it. I mean, what do I know.

But having taught at an HBCU for the past year has really opened my eyes, and made it clear that although some things are OK, others very clearly are not. And the confederate flag would be one of them. My students, who are all African American, tell me that that flag to them symbolizes everything that the south can not, and should not be proud of; its history of slavery, the civil war it started, and its attempts to halt the civil rights movement. I've had students tell me that when they have to interact with people who display the confederate flag, they are truly afraid of their lives. If a flag holds such negative connotations to a large group of people who have had enough wrong done to them, why keep flying it? Why keep claiming that they "just don't get it"? If something doesn't work to making a society a more cohesive unity, all it does it pull it further apart. And with all due respect to all the white southerners who are not racists, but I think that that is the last thing we need here in the deep south.

So I suggest we all pull together to design a new way to express southern pride. Maybe a bumper sticker that reads "You may be a Yankee, but at least I'm nice", or "Sunny all year round!", or little cherry blossom magnets, or pictures of sweet tea with the words "Have y'all had your fix today?". You bet I won't be putting any of those on my car, but y' all will know I'm just secretly proud:)