Things your professor wants...

...to write on your paper, but doesn't*:

10. "Are you kidding me", or a more polite version, "So the fact that I told you not to do this at least once every class period on the past five weeks went -completely- over your head, did it?"

9. "Aaargh!", or the more introspective, "I am at this point seriously doubting my own capabilities as a teacher".

8. "Your paper was due on the 23rd at 8am. All your sources are a) online, and b) marked with "retrieved November 23". You do realize that you just destroyed your own chances of being taken seriously, right?"

7. "If you can't be bothered to use your spellchecker, I don't think I can be bothered to read the rest of your paper"

6. #Fail.

5. "Two pages and three words does not equal three pages. I'm not an idiot. But thanks for trying"

4. "Plagiarism. And I find the fact that you apparently think I'm so stupid that you really thought I would not notice you copying straight from wikipedia/the book/my notes incredibly insulting. That alone would have earned you an F."

3. "Can't get through your first page, due to lack of paragraphing, the constantly changing font, and the apparent random use of punctuation, so I gave up", or "You do realize a 3-page paper is not just a really long tweet, right?"

2. "This is utter BS", or "And were you thinking at all when you wrote this down, or did your brain just turn itself off?"

1. "WTF?", or the more culturally appropriate, "I am now going to tear my clothes and pour ashes on my head"



*But of course we professors, and especially this one, don't. We believe in providing constructive feedback that will nurture our students, and help them grow into knowledgeable, mature, well-rounded professionals. Or else drop out. It's all fair game to us.