Niceties and nuisances

"Hey, how are you?"
"I'm pretty good, happy the week's almost over, how are you?"
"Oh, not bad at all. Everything OK over at the office?"
"Sure, yeah, great."
"Cool. Listen, I was calling to see if you could..."

This little conversation is one I have at least a few times each day. Whereas at my old job I would just call someone and immediately address the matter at hand, here all requests, large or small, convenient or inconvenient require a nice little introduction. Without that little introduction, there's a small chance of getting anything done.

So up in the North, or in Europe, a conversation with a secretary about requiring a toner will probably go something like this:
"Hi, my printer is out of toner, do you have a new one?"
"You have an HP (insert model number here) right?"
"Yes."
"No, sorry, we just gave our last one away, but they are on order."
"Huh. How long will it take for the new ones to come in?"
"About a week. I can shoot you an e-mail when they come in."
"Great, thanks. I appreciate it."

Down here, I had a conversation about that exact same topic not too long ago, and it went something like this:
"Hi, how are you doing today?"
"Oh, I am great, the week is almost over so I am one happy camper."
"That's great."
"How are you?"
"Fine, yep, happy the weekend's on its way. "
"Good"
"So, I was wondering, my printer is pretty much out of toner, do you have a new one for me?"
"What kind of printer do you have?"
"(insert printer type and number here)"
"Hhmm,...I would need to go and look"
(insert long pause)
"No, we're all out I think."
"Oh. Hey listen, I really need one though. Do you think you could order them for me?"
"I don't know. I think so. Yeah, I guess so."
"OK, that would be great. When would you have them?"
"Oh, I don't know. It depends."
"How long does it usually take?"
"You know, I'm not sure. We got so much going on down here, sometimes I can't keep track of everything."
"I bet!"
"I want to say a week or two, but I really just don't know. Let me ask Ms. M"
(pause)
"No, she doesn't know either. It's just one of those unpredictable things you know!"
"Yeah, I know what you mean. So could you let me know when it comes in?"
"Sure honey. Could you e-mail me the name and type again?"
"Of course, and thank you so much."
"No problem."

As you can see, it's not just the extreme amount of niceties, but also the roundabout way in which everything is taken care of. Down in the south, people like to take their time. In everything. You don't just come out and ask something, you show interest in the other party first, build a relationship and then phrase your request, always keeping the other person's interests in mind. If anyone has ever read a Jane Austen novel; living down here sometimes reminds me of the conversations in her books; they're very polite, very charming, very long, and not always to the point.
And you know, when dealing with people in a social setting, it's fine. You quickly get used to having to address things in a less direct manner, and having to frame everything in a bed of politeness. I would even go as far as to argue that in a society where things become more and more fast-paced, it's good to slow down and show some respect and friendliness to the person you're talking to. And the abundant friendliness is very comforting somehow.
But it's when it permeates into the work setting that it becomes slightly annoying at times.
In Europe, if someone would have told me they had no idea how long the toners would take to come in, I would further emphasize that that meant that I would be without a printer for an indefinite amount of time, and that that is not really acceptable. Here, I need to express understanding of the other person's plight if I want them to do anything for me in the future. Sure, you could tell them that this inefficiency on their part is causing you problems, and the other party wouldn't say anything about it to your face. They would just smile and carry on. That's the thing; people down here are always nice and friendly, even if they don't like you. So you will never know if you committed a social gaffe. But when you do, and you cross that unspoken line of what southerns consider rude, they will be very unlikely to ever help you out again. They may be slow to return calls, not smile as much, and stall any request if they feel like it.
But hey, they'll be nice about it:)